Able Was I, Ere I Saw Napoleon

 I didn't plan for my first post-Covid movie in the theater to be Napoleon, but it turns out (after discussion with family) that it was. On the plus side, we saw it in IMAX so the battle scenes made that much more of an impression. On the negative side, I wish I'd picked a better film.

(Aside: it turns out my wife and her mom saw at least one of the Downton Abbey movies in the theater, while the wife and kids saw Encanto when I was at work. Apparently my family likes to go to the movies when I am otherwise occupied.)

This isn't as bad a film as some have made out (the Boston Globe review gave it one and a half stars, which seems too low), but it didn't tell me much that I didn't already know about Napoleon, at least as far as his military exploits go.  I knew less about the relationship between Napoleon and Josephine, other than that it was tempestuous and ended in divorce. I don't know that I know more about their relationship now, though it was apparently kinkier than I expected. There's a four-plus hour director's cut coming to Apple TV+ that will apparently focus  more on their relationship.

I do think having some knowledge of Napoleon's military career will help viewers, as the battle scenes aren't given much more context than Napoleon wants to bring peace to Europe through superior firepower. Most historical figures are noted through quick titles, but some aren't. And as many have opined, there are historical accuracies in the film that you may or may not find annoying. 

Joaquin Phoenix was fine as Napoleon, mumbly but not to the Marlon Brando depths that the Globe review suggested, but he didn't stand out. There are a dozen actors (or more) who could have given a similar performance. Vanessa Kirby was much better as Josephine, potentially Oscar-worthy (based on my not having seen any other non-animated new movies in 2023). I do expect that the movie will get nominated for Oscars, and likely win, in technical categories. As befits a movie where shit gets blown up in a loud and repeated fashion.

So while Napoleon wasn't any great shakes, it was better than the last film I saw in the theater.

And, of course, there were plenty of trailers for movies I probably won't see at all, never mind in the theater:

Ferrari, the biopic of the Italian sports car magnate, with Adam Driver in the title role. Of all of the movies previewed this is the one I'd likely see in the theater, as I am interested in auto racing and would want to see the racing scenes on a big screen.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, where Atlantis is under some sort of threat that Aquaman has to thwart with the help of his brother. I just could not care less. I really have no interest in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Which means I also have no interest in the Spiderman universe, in which Madame Web takes place. Dakota Johnson plays a paramedic who is also clairvoyant. If nothing else, I got to hear the line that launched a thousand memes. 

Bob Marley: One Love, the Bob Marley biopic, whose trailer I mostly missed while fetching a drink for my wife.

The Beekeeper, which has Jason Statham as the same guy as he plays in all his movies, but who also keeps bees. He's bent on taking revenge against a phishing outfit responsible for the suicide of Statham's neighbor, which I guess I can get behind (the revenge, not the suicide).

Argylle, which sees a writer of spy fiction (Bryce Dallas Howard) get tangled up in real life espionage after her book plots steer too close to actual clandestine events. This comes to us from the same people as the Kingsman movies, and looks to hew pretty close to those films' aesthetic.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, where the original cast pairs up with some new recruits to fight off a supernatural threat. This is a sequel to Ghostbusters: Afterlife, and like that movie unrelated to the female-centered 2016 reboot.

No preview for Godzilla Minus One, which will likely be the next movie I see in the theater thanks to my kaiju-loving older son.

Read the full post with comments